Am I Even Here?
by castlefan51
Summary: Espo knows she's there but will he act on what he feels? First romantic fic hope you like it. Disclaimer:Nope still don't own em.
1. Chapter 1

Am I even Here...

She looked beyond her laptop screen and wondered if he thought about her. She knew that he was involved with someone, but she did not see it going anywhere. To her they did not seem to feel like a good match. She really liked him and with that thought leaving her mind, she noticed him leave his desk and moving to her cubicle. She was working on her laptop to determine the current suspects whereabouts on last Friday. She had actually found a lead so they could question him more as he walked up to her she said, "I have street cam footage of your suspect" She got up off her chair taking in every inch of his toned muscles as he walked towards her. He was exactly like an Aztec god. Walking over to the large flat screen, she showed him what she had found. She was a little shy when he asked "Do you think that this will get us a confession"?

She looked towards him and said "Well detective I am not actually a detective, but my gut feeling is that he will roll over for you the second you bring him into the interrogation room. He looked back to her with a smile and thought she would be a great asset to out team as a detective.

She dressed seductively for him only on days when she was working a case with his team, but secretly she thought about what a good team they had made. She thought about Beckett and Castle and even though their relationship was on the down low, but she was not exactly a civilian investigator. But with the rules within the NYPD she was reserved a little. She wanted him but would make herself out to be a fool if it went wrong. She gave him the information he needed to make his case rock solid.

Esposito wondered about her sometimes, why she was still single. She was a gorgeous woman and yet she never made any mention of men in her life. He finally decided to grow a pair and walk over to her later and talk to her on a more personal level. He just needed a starting point to get the conversation going. So he decided that he would very confidently ask her out for dinner one night. He would start their conversation about his last Yankee game he went to hoping that she would be a fan.

He was walking over to her cubicle she sat firmly in her chair and thought this it. He started to talk about last nights Yankee game and wondered if she caught any of it. She told him that she had watched about 3 innings of it on the TV but missed the end. Really it was a great ending of the series between Boston. They won 6 to 4. Thanks for the update have you always been a Yankee fan? He remembers when his father took off from work and they'd take in an afternoon game on a Thursday. He tells her "my dad loved them and so do I" Well maybe we should catch a game together sometime? Whoa, he was the one going to ask her out and she asks him to a game?. He likes the idea and asks when she would want to see a game. Tori thinks a second and checks the Yankee schedule on her computer "There is a Saturday game at 1:05 against the Texas Rangers how about that game?" He agrees and adds "Maybe after we beat up on Texas we can go on from the stadium to a great little place not too far for dinner?" She likes the idea and tells him "It's a date" Should I meet you there or ...Tori what kind of man would I be if we met at the stadium, no I will pick you up around 10:30 on Saturday morning. "why so early?" she asks him raising an eyebrow. "it's going to be a surprise, just be ready OK?" She agrees and they go about their day. Saturday rolls around and he is at her door ringing the bell. Looking out the window, her heart skips a beat or two. He looks up after she calls to him and tells him she will be right down. Checking herself in the bathroom mirror she is as ready as she ever will be. Opening the door and walking through he is surprised that they are both wearing Paul O'Neil pinstripe jerseys. He suppresses a laugh and so does she. "Is he you favorite player?" He asks. She nods yes and off they go.

Getting to the stadium he meets a detective from the 44th precinct and he gives them both all access to the playing field. They watch batting practice and talk with one of her favorite players Derek Jeter. Even though, he is a baseball superstar he is a down to earth person and is a very private person also. Talking to him like they knew him all of their lives they wish him a great game and move to take their seats. Finding their seats they are down the third base line and get settled in to watch a great game. They do all the touristy things, foam fingers, hats, and of course Yankee pennants. She looks at him and asks "Was that my surprise?" He sees the yearning in her eyes and tells her "I'd thought you'd like it". She throws both arms around his neck pulls him in close and whispers "I loved it, thank you so much". The Yankees destroy the Rangers with a score of 12 to 1. Feeling that this is going so well they move onto the next part of their date.

Walking about 4 blocks there is a small bistro that they were told had great pasta. She moves closer to him reaches down to his hand and intertwines their fingers together. He is comfortable with this and responds to her touch by squeezing her hand gently acknowledging her. She is happy with the way things are and thinks that he is a man she could love. The arrive at the bistro and ask for a table for two. Sitting they look over the menu. When the waiter arrives they ask what the specials are, the waiter reads them off and after he finishes Javi asks what he would recommend. The waiter suggests they should try the Cajun chicken and linguine. It is a house specialty. They both agree and request a good wine to accompany their meal. The waiter retreats to the kitchen to place the order and returns with the wine. She thinks now is a good time to get to know him and asks some general questions. So "I know you served in the Army what was your M.O.S.?" he looks a little stunned "How do you know about an M.O.S."? "My brother was 153Alpha he could fly any type of rotary aircraft". "Wow, I always admired those guys it takes a lot of guts to do what they do". I was 180Alpha. I was a Special Forces Warrant Officer. Did you like what you did? Actually I did, my job was to protect our troops on the ground. I did it with pride. She liked seeing him proud.

"Who is your favorite band?" "I love anything older like Led Zep, The Doors, Aerosmith, bands like that".

"Are you the type of woman who likes Romantic movies or will anything do?" "Romantic movies are good but even women get tired of them after a while."

The waiter returns with two glasses of Ceritas Chardonnay. Then presented them with their meal. It was a really great meal and the wine complimented the pasta excellently. Before they knew it they were done eating and decided that they could not fit anything else in so dessert was out of the question. Getting the attention of the waiter they asked for the check and happily paid for their food. This was a great night he thought to himself. Walking out into the crisp New York City air they hailed a cab and he took her home.

Arriving right they were 12 hours ago they both exited the cab. She took his hand in hers and wrapped her other hand around his neck and drew him in close, feeling her breath on his face she gently brushed her lips against his and kissed him ever so gently. He was in heaven she did things to him he only dreamed a woman could do to him. He responded by lightly returning her kiss and allowed her to enter his mouth. Her tongue hungrily explored what he gave her access to and standing there in front of her building she wanted more from him hoping that he felt the same she broke off their kiss. Leaving him was so hard for her that kiss was heaven. "Do you want to come up?" Every part of his body wants her so badly but he wants this to work for both of them and he honestly told her "as much as I want to be with you right this second, I want to do this right and not rush into anything" looking at him in a new light she regretfully agrees with his decision. The date was a great time and if this was any indication where they were headed then she would gladly wait for him.

He again gently gives her a lingering kiss and tells her that he will see her on Monday at the 12th. But, if she needs someone to talk to she can always call him. He turns to walk her up to her apartment and watches her go into the building. Leaving her he catches a cab back to his place and wonders what she is doing right now...


	2. Chapter 2

Sunday morning his phone was ringing with the default ringtone. It was 10:17 am and reaching over to pick up his cell he remembered he told her that she could call him anytime if she was feeling lonely. Hoping it was her he answered "Javi, the voice said"? He replied with "Tori" "Hey is it OK that I called"?

He told her that it was fine and asked how she was. She told him "I really had a great time last night and I am fine, thanks for asking"

"So did I" she then asked hoping he would say yes "Javi would you like to come over for dinner at my place tonight?" She was holding her breath and was starting to turn blue waiting for his response.

"Tori I'd love to but I am on call tonight so if a body drops I will need to leave OK?"

She understands that his job will always come first and agrees. "What time should I come over?" She tells him to come over around 6:30. "Should I bring anything?" She says "No it's OK I will have everything set."

He thinks about what they did last night and wanting to make a good impression he walks up to her door at 6:29 promptly. Ringing the bell and the buzzer buzzes allowing him to open the entry door. Walking up to the 3rd floor he nervously raises his hand and knocks very softly on the apartment door 3 G. She almost does not hear the knock at first, but while she was so close to the front door she moves over and opens the door. What she sees makes her heart melt, there standing in front of her is the perfect man. In one hand he has a very beautiful bouquet of flowers and in the other hand he has a great selection of white wine. He is dressed so very sharply. She invites him in and he walks through the doorway. He is amazed at how she looks again he thinks back to last night and wonders what else she could do to him to make him feel this way.

She tells him to have a seat while she finishes getting the meal prepared. He does just that. Sitting in the very large sectional sofa, he looks around to get a feel of what she likes and dislikes. He notices that she likes to read and listen to older lp's. He notices her vast collection mostly from the 60's and the 70's. Too many artists to mention. She also has all of Castles novels, along with Peterson and Lehane. Quite the avid reader he thought to himself. Looking over to the kitchen, he asks, "Is there anything I can do to help?" She says yes and asks him if he could possibly get a vase and place the flowers into it with a little bit of water and then place them on the table so they can both admire their beauty. He can't help to say "The flowers are not the only thing that is beautiful here." Her cheeks blush with a redness she hopes he won't notice. Walking over to the table, he places the red roses in the center of the table. Returning to the kitchen, he looks to her devotedly and takes her in. His eyes can't believe what he sees she is something beautiful. She is adorned with a sheer black dress that barely makes it down to her thigh. She is the complete package, he never sees her like this because even though the department has become lax with their dress code she would still wear more reserved clothing while she was at work. She tells him that dinner is almost ready. Getting two wine glasses and opening the bottle of Bella Sara Pinot Grigio he poured the two large glasses with the wine. Tori had wanted everything to go exceptionally tonight. She had prepared a spinach stuffed chicken breast and it was almost done cooking. Not knowing what his appetite was she had made four entrees hoping he had brought his hunger for food with him.

Tori plates their food and brings both plates out to her dining room. Sitting down only after she has been seated he sits and tells her "Tori this looks absolutely delicious." Happy with his comment they both start eating and are enjoying each others company. The meal is just about finished and she announces that she has salad and desert still to go and would he want either. He is amazed at how much effort she has put into pleasing him and tells her that he would like both please. Leaving the table and taking the dirty dishes with her she quickly gets the salads from the crisper in the fridge. Placing them down on the table, he looks and sees that this is just the perfect dinner. They finish the salad and this time he retreats back to the kitchen and places the salad dishes in the sink and moves to the refrigerator to get the desert. What he sees is a New York style cheesecake made from scratch. She saunters up behind him and tells him that there is a strawberry sauce that needs to be heated up in a saute pan and then poured over the cheesecake. She grabs the sauce and the saute pan and heats up the sauce. Javi cuts the cheesecake with a kitchen knife and places 2 slices of cake on each of the plates.

Finished heating the sauce up she turns to him and sees that he was watching her, can you bring over the plates so I can put the sauce on the cake...it's better when the sauce is hot. It's kind of a hot/cold experience. He does what she asks and they move back to the table. Lifting his fork to his mouth the first thought he has is that she was totally right. This was an amazing combination, hot and cold it was almost like total euphoria. Seeing the look on his face she thinks she has pleased his appetite. She just hopes she is up for the rest of the night. Secretly she wants him to spend the night either in her bed or in the guest room she will take either, it has been so long since she has had the company of a man and does not want to blow it with him. She remembers what he said last night at her door and she hopes that she can change his mind tonight. Finishing up the desert she leaves the table once again and takes his empty plate and moves to the sink. Starting the water so she can wash the dirty dishes, he decides if this is the right time to let her know what he is feeling for her.

So he decides that this is the right time. Walking up behind her knowing that she can't really fend off his advances because she is washing the dishes. He gently places his hands on her shoulders and feeling this she practically melts into his touch. She almost falls weak at her knees but somehow stays standing. She turns her head and sees a very eager Javi Esposito giving her his trademark grin. This is turning out to be exactly what she wanted and was in no way going to screw it up. Using her body by pressing into his touch to let him know it was OK to move forward he gets the message and gently moves his hands down to her mid back. Shuttering, she seriously needs him to take her into his arms and have his way with her. Finishing the dishes and turning off the water she turns to face him and he says "I thought you'd never finish those dirty dishes." Now she knows that this is the man she is going to be with for the rest of her life.

He caresses her lower abdomen with his left hand and with his right he explores her really nice ass, making her want more contact she backs her ass fully into his hand. He thinks back to last night, he needs to ask her if this is what she really wants so he asks "Tori I am not going to do something that you are not ready for so I need to know where we are in our relationship."

She tells him "Even though we have only had one official date I'd like let you know that I have been fantasizing about you for about the last 5 months."

He is totally caught off guard and can't believe what she just told him. Moving his hand to hers, he interlock their fingers and he draws her in for a gentle hug. She is loving every minute of this and starts walking to the general direction of her bedroom, suddenly she comes to a dead stop. Turning back she sees him standing there with concern in those big beautiful brown eyes of his. Noting his concern she makes it clear that this is what she wants, so he lets her lead the way to her bedroom. She must have anticipated that he would agree to make a honest woman out of her because she had scented candles lit in almost every part of the room and they give off a great smelling aroma. Stopping and looking at her in the candlelight, he thought this was his one and only. He so very much wanted to make this something she would never forget...


	3. Chapter 3

Javier Esposito was raised to treat a woman like they was a goddess. Never degrade or berate them at any time. Tori was no different. So the act of making love to this adorable woman was not an endeavor he would take lightly. He was committed to her. She led him to the edge of her queen sized bed. She was hoping she had read all the signals he gave her at dinner and needed to ask him if this what he wanted. "I couldn't imagine being anywhere else but here with you" Another layer of her heart melted away. He took her arm and pulled her closer to him, before she knew it they were embraced in a gentle body hug, she needed to feel every part of his body as she embraced the hug. After being together for what seemed to be a lifetime they split apart and he cupped her face with his hands and gently kissed her. She returned the kiss but she wanted more and he understood. His tongue entering her mouth she did not resist but rather explored his mouth again. She loved being kissed this way. It was like she was hoping for the best and getting it.

Slowly he reached very softly and drew down the zipper on her thin almost see through black dress. She never felt his hand reach up for the zipper. The next thing she felt was a chill and she shivered a little, because her dress was laying in a puddle at her feet he quickly drew her in tighter to warm her more. She was in heaven and could not imagine this night being any better. Anticipating that he would want to move forward with their relationship she neglected to wear a bra, but wore a racy pair of panties from Victoria's Secret. They were white and needed to present herself as the virgin to him because she was one. Sure she had been on dates with men but she never found a man to make love with until she met Javi. He stepped back and removed his button down shirt and took her in. She was beautiful in every way. Her breasts were the perfect shape and size. He wondered if her nipples were sensitive and would use this to drive her crazy with his mouth.

She grabbed his belt and slowly removed it form his pants. Letting his pants fall to the floor he was in his briefs, this made her chuckle a little because she thought he would have been a boxer type of man. Slowly slipping her fingers into the waist band of his briefs she gently lowered them to the floor as well. He shivered a little when she did this, but he quickly dismissed it. Then he was there in front of her in all his glory, and she took all of him in. His cock was large, very wide and she needed to take her time and give them both what they wanted. He moved her back to the bed and gently laid her onto the bed. Kneeling in front of her he took the very thin material of her lacy panties and lowered them from the waist, over her hips, and down her thighs placing them at the edge of the bed.

Looking at her he wondered why he had ever waited so long to ask her out. She was perfect, great breasts, great ass, and all she had was a landing strip leading right to her pussy. Starting at her neck he started kissing every inch of her body. She writhed at his touch but begged for more. Reaching her breasts he played with both of her nipples at the same time his mouth gently sucking and devouring her right one, while he thumbed the left one with his fingers. He listened to her moan with pleasure and he began moving a little quicker. Cascading lower to her stomach she put one of her hands on his head trying to force his head to her pussy. He had other ideas, first he gently rubbed her clit to get her wet but he never needed to because she was there already. So he placed his finger on her clit and started rubbing softly at first but then she wanted more and he responded. Slipping his finger inside of her he lowered his mouth onto her clit while still moving furiously in and out of her until she let go. He did not know what was going, on but there was a release of fluid that scared him. Quickly he looked up and the look on her face was one of utter bliss. About 3 minutes later she looked at him and said "What did you do?" "I have never done that before." Well I am glad that we found out that you have hidden talents that you don't know about." She playfully slapped his arm and drew him in for a fierce deep kiss.

When she was satisfied she looked into his beautiful brown eyes and asked "Javi you took care of me but what about you?" he told her "Listen I was brought up to treat a woman exactly as that a woman." As long as you are happy then...she cut him off and said "Listen to me I am going to say this only once OK? "Since we are both here and naked I am thinking that we have moved forward with our relationship don't you?" I am happy that you are going to take care of me sexually but you need to have some fun too. She reached down to his throbbing cock and started stroking it. He could not resist any longer he turned her and told her "I love you" She returned his comment with one of her own "Now you would not be saying that because I am getting you aroused would you?" He looked at her slyly Tori asked him to make love to her. He wanted it to be perfect and in his eyes it was. He was with the most beautiful woman and they were about to share a very intimate experience together. But before they started their session she needed to tell him her secret "Javi,...I need to tell you something" He looked at her and thought the worst like she already had a boyfriend...

"I am a virgin" Those words knocked him for a loop and when he recovered he made the following statement "Tori I am in love with you and have been for quite sometime I just never knew how to show you" "Javi you can show me right now" she moved next to him pulling her naked form into his and they fit together just so right, she never wanted to let him go. Caressing her lower back he moved back to her breasts and that got her aroused again. She grabbed his hand and forcefully moved it to her pussy and he gently slipped his fingers into her. She was ready to go again but this time it would be different he spread her legs and he tongued her gently. She was moaning again and she looked down to him and said "Please Javi show me how much you love me" Taking her legs and spreading them he made passionate love to her. She loved every second of it. It was an incredible experience she thought would unite them and she was right. This was the beginning of a relationship that she could see going the distance. After they were done he placed his hand on her abdomen and asked "so how do you feel?"

"I am in heaven, the right man, the best sex I have ever had, and I am totally in love with you!"

He responded with "Tori the feeling is so very mutual."

After they had relaxed in each others comfort they were a couple and now he thought there was what the NYPD would think of their relationship. Should they be like Beckett and Castle and keep their love for each other a secret? Or should they just come out and tell the truth and face what ever consequences the department wanted to dish out. He did not want to ruin the mood but it weighed heavy on his mind and asked her "Tori what do you think we should do?"

She asked, "About what?"

He told her that they would be under total scrutiny if they let it be known that they were involved with each other.

She thought it for a while and told him "Javi I love you and I am thinking that we let be known that we are together and face what ever comes our way...what do you think?"

"I am loving your decision and will stand with you whatever happens."

She looks at him and sees it in his eyes and then she knows he is the one for her.


	4. Chapter 4

It's early on Monday morning, Espo is at his desk dreading the visit he is going to make with Captain Gates. Thinking about how he needs to word it without giving too much away about him and Tori. So with this in mind as Kate walks in he thinks that a woman's point of view might help. He asks her to meet him in the break room after she gets settled in at her desk. She nods. Walking to the break room, Espo is hesitant on how to talk to her "Kate I need to ask your opinion about a problem I might have."

Kate looks at him concerned "Espo whats up?"

"Well, it's like this, I um what I mean is um..."

"Espo spit it out will you!"

"Well, Tori and I are now dating and I could see it turning very serious in the near future. We are crazy about each other and I am asking you what do you think will happen if we tell the department about our relationship?"

Kate thinks for a second and tells him "Well, I am not too sure what would happen." "She is a detective of sorts, but works in a different department" "Javi I am so happy for you and Tori I hope things work out for the two of you."

Espo needs to talk to Gates. He hopes that this will be OK but won't know for sure until he talks to her.

Gates get's in around 8 and since then Tori has been by to see him twice asking if he talked to Captain Gates yet. Now he really needs to get this done with, he gets up and walks up to her door and knocks. "Enter" comes her answer.

Espo walks in and closes the door behind him. "Sir, I need to ask you something."

Looking up to him, she says, "OK continue."

"I need to know what the rules are about two members of the NYPD who want to date and possibly more?"

"Possibly more," she asks...

"Yes Sir,"

"Detective Esposito let me get this right you and another member of the NYPD want to know what the policy is towards dating and maybe more?" "Is this the gist of it?"

Espo shakes his head in the yes fashion.

"And can I ask what this possibly more refers to?"

Now he gets a nervous boldness "The possibly of more might be marriage."

"Well, as you know Detectives within the same squad are not really supposed to get involved with each other in that capacity." "But I have a feeling that she is not in our squad...right?"

Espo's face almost turns red and says "Your right, she is not in our squad."

"OK, I will get the correct information for you about this matter dismissed detective" Picking up the phone Gates presses the #3 speed dial on her phone placing a call to 1PP.

Espo returns to his desk and wonders. Grabbing his cell phone he calls Tori, she answers "Hey Babe" "How did it go?" He loves her enthusiasm and asks her to meet him on the 3rd-floor conference room in five minutes. He hangs up and looks around to a smiling Kate Beckett and Richard Castle. Thinking that they know something that he doesn't he turns back and shuffles some paper work on his desk to make it look like he is doing something before actually getting up from his desk to leave. Walking towards the stairwell door, he slips out and walks down to the 3rd floor. He sees her before he even gets there. She is so happy to see him she can't contain her joy. "Hey Chika" She smiles at him and wants so much to hold him, but she waits patiently until she hears his news.

"I am not too sure that we have done the right thing." Her smile drops from her face instantly and even though he knows that the request is still pending he takes her into his arms and whispers into her ear "Listen babe, I am going to make this right and will do everything in my power to make them see that we will still be able to work without our relationship distracting our performance on the job." She separates from their embrace and looks up to him and says "I know that you will" tears start to form and he raises his hand to her cheek "there will be none of this ok" We are in love and we will figure this out. Moving in to kiss her he does so very passionately and she responds. Breaking it off, she tells him

"We should wait until later OK?" "Even though we are trying to get the OK to date, I think that we should wait until the official word comes down from 1PP."

He agrees with her thinking and asks "your place or mine?" "Could we meet at your place say around 6pm?." Thinking of a great idea he says "that would be great, I'll see you then." He releases her hand he never knew he was holding and immediately she felt the loss of his touch. Turning for the door, he let her leave for her office so it would not be that suspicious seeing them both come out together. Waiting about 5 minutes, he had an idea but would need help pulling it off.

Arriving back to the homicide floor, there is energy happening all around the floor. Detectives making their way from the murder board and the case files to try and piece together any type of clue that might help them get a solid lead on this case. Beckett and Castle look over to Espo and Kate says "Nice of you to join us."

"Whats going on," Espo asks questionably "I was only gone for 5 minutes."

"We identified the victim as one John Baumiller."

"So what's the big deal?"

"He just so happened to be the son of a New York state senator Paul Baumiller."

Espo wants to know if the senators office has had any pull in getting answers at the 12th.

"Well, I'd guess with all that's going on that his office did."

Espo walks over to Castle and Beckett and wants to know where they are.

They talk about the case in length and decide that Castle and herself look into finding one suspect and Espo and Ryan should look into another suspect as well. Telling them to watch their backs they all head out to track down their suspects. Ryan and Espo hit a dead end in the search for the suspect. ? On the way back to the 12th, his cell phone rang. "Esposito" he answered "Espo any luck finding your guy?" Kate asked.

Espo told her that after searching the building where their suspect was last seen they had come up empty.

She told them to return back to the 12th and meet up with them. He asks how her and Castle did and she replies "We had him in our sights but, he was a slippery little bastard and he ditched us on 22nd between 4th & 5th aves so we are coming back to the 12th also." While he was on the phone with Beckett he was receiving another incoming call. Asking Beckett to hold a second as answers the 2nd call. Not recognizing the incoming number he answers his phone.

"Espisoto," he says, "Yes Sir", "Yes Sir," No Sir," "Well that might a little on the impossible side Sir" "OK Sir, we are heading back now."

Ryan looks so lost "What was all that about?"

"Ryan I am not at a point where I can talk to you about whats going on, but I promise in the near future I will tell you everything that's happening OK?"

The rest of the ride back was a silent one. Ryan had known that Espo had been under a lot of stress lately, but they always told each other everything. Letting him have the space he needed he kept his comments to himself. Parking in the underground garage they made their way up to the fourth floor. Espo walks off the elevator and heads over to his desk. Gates, eying him cautiously waits for him to take a seat at his desk before calling him into her office.

Adding the new information to the murder board, he steps back taking it all in to see if there is anything that might make his brain figure out the next possible clue. He can't seem to get a handle on what is going on in his head. Beckett and Castle walk in just as he was thinking there was another part of the puzzle missing. He voices his concerns to Kate and Rick and they will take his idea and decide that they should put their heads together and come up with something. Just as they are going to all head to the break room Gates raps on her glass window as Espo walks by catching his attention

He enters and says, "Yes Sir what can I do for you"?

Detective "Please have a seat"...

Sorry, this took so long hope you guys like it! As always review or PM your comments...Thanks.


	5. Chapter 5

"Detective Esposito, I have been on the phone with 1PP for about an hour. I have good news and bad news. The bad news is that while you are not allowed to engage with a active member within the NYPD, there is however a silver lining. Because you are a homicide detective 2nd grade, and Miss Ellis is a detective sergeant with the cyber division, the brass has informed me that since you have limited interaction with each other during the course of your duties and you both work in different aspects of case solving they have informed me that they will green light your seeing each other."

Espo looks at his captain and asks "Captain Gates how did you know it was Tori?"

"Really detective did you really think I had no idea?"

Espo rubs his hand to his face and then says "man I need to do a better job hiding my feelings."

Gates just looks at him with a semi smile on her face and then dismisses him.

Esposito gets up and walks back out of her office. There is one call he needs to make immediately. Kate and Rick look at him trying to open his phone when Kate calls out to him "Hey Espo is everything okay." Rick can see that he is nervous and flustered with their comment then it hits him...

He walks over to Kate's desk "what do you two know?"

Kate responds "We know that you are crushing on a very pretty cyber cop."

Espo wonders how they found out about Tori and him "hey Beckett did you guys have anything to do with what 1PP told gates?"

Rick looks up to Javier and tells him that with every new possibility of love, it needs to be unhindered. So just go with your heart. Turning back to his desk he smiles but sports a very manly smile. Pulling out his phone he scrolls to her number, hits send and waits for her to pick up. Answering on the third ring she greets him with "Hey Lover." His heart melts when she speaks.

"Hey Baby" She is hoping that he has some news. "So what did you find out?"

"I am happy to say that we have a green light to date each other, but we need to be cool while we are on the job. I was thinking that if we are ever assigned a case where you need to relay information to me about the case instead of telling me you could give Kevin the case findings."

She likes the way he thinks and agrees almost immediately. She is loving the new Javier he is thinking about what she needs and decides to ask him over to her place tonight for dinner and if time permits, and a good movie.

"Javi would you like to come over for dinner again tonight?"

He thinks about his current work load and tells her that he would love to, but they are in the middle of a case but if the leads they have now don't pan out then he will be able to make it tonight. But he tells her "Tori if we have a solid lead then me and Kevin will likely need to follow it through." "What time did you want to eat?"

She thinks a second trying to gauge if he does get a good lead that he could possibly be done in time for meeting her "How does 7pm sound?"

"That sounds great." He hates hanging up the phone with her its like he is loosing a part of himself when he does. When has he ever felt like this before and he is not a girl so he can't understand why he is feeling like this. It must be that he is in love with her.

Kevin jolts him from his thoughts and tells him that they need to take a road trip to Staten Island to try to locate a suspect. Looking at his watch he thinks that if this is the only lead the will run down today he should have no problem meeting Tori for dinner at her place tonight. They depart the precinct and head over to Staten Island.

For once Kevin drives Javi had given up his driving rights when he threw Kevin the keys to the radio car. The drive out to the suspects address was uneventful and needless to say after staking out his place for 3 hours they had come up empty. So Kevin asked Espo if they should call it a night he jumped when he grabbed his arm and said "Kev look over there."

Kevin turned his head left and walking up the street is was what looked like their suspect. Javi, lets get him closer so we can be positive with the ID okay?

Espo agrees and 30 seconds later they both look at each other and slide out of the car walking over to the suspect. The wanted man sees them coming and draws something from his waist band and lowers his right hand to his side concealing what he removed. Kevin takes a direct head on tactical approach while Espo flanks the suspect from the left. In a second things change for the worse shots ring out and, even though, they were prepared for just about anything they never expected this. By the time, Kevin had time to respond he had been hit 7 times rounds from a MAC-10. Espo, on the other hand, had seen what was about to happen and charged the suspect from the left and paid dearly for it. Espo was hit 12 times total. Kevin's vest took 6 of the MAC-10 rounds directly. The only one that hit his body was the one that hit his upper shoulder. Lying on the sidewalk he emptied his service weapon into the suspect and he is now lying directly in front of him.

Kevin looks to his his left and sees Javi lying on the sidewalk also. He is hit but does not know how badly. Crawling over to his partner he grabs the collar of his vest and shakes...no response. Removing his radio he calls central dispatch "Central, this is Detective Ryan from the 12th precinct shield number 42344." "I am in need of assistance at the intersection of Midland Ave. and Lisbon Place." "Please acknowledge Kay"

Rolling Espo onto his back he tries to see if he can help him. He is shocked at what he sees Javi is full of MAC-10 holes. Most have hit his vest but he is also hit in non threatening locations on his body. He pulls his cell phone out and hits #3 on his speed dial.

"Beckett" She answers

He does not know how to start to tell her what has happened.

Pulling her phone away from her ear she looks at the caller ID and then asks Kevin if he is still there.

He can't make his mouth form sentences. "Beckett it's me Ryan"

"Kevin whats wrong" The alarm in her voice was clear cut.

He still could not tell her what had happened and then cut the phone call off.

In the distance, he heard sirens heading towards him they were probably cops from the 121st precinct. He held Javi's hand until someone reached them. He was unconscious, but he was still breathing and he had a very faint pulse. He felt a slight grip on his hand and looked down to Espo. His eyes were open and he tried to say something to him. Kevin lowered his ear to Espo's ear and he whispered the following "Kev, I was supposed to meet Tori for dinner tonight." "Could you stop by and explain to her why I could not make it there tonight?"

Kevin was speechless with he had just reveled. He thought that he and Lanie were an item.

"Espo after we get you to the hospital I will personally drive over there and tell her what happened here tonight."

Espo squeezes his hand a little tighter and then whispers to Kevin "Kevin please don't tell her I was hit so badly Okay.?" Ryan shakes his head in agreement. The cops show up and start going through the motions after there has been a police shooting. Closing down streets, raising crime scene tape, and looking for evidence. The ambulance arrives shortly and load Espo into it. Responding to the hospital there is probably not one red light the driver had not run to get his patient to the hospital. Kevin rides with Javi. He had left the keys to the squad car with the highest ranking officer there. He gave him instructions to relinquish the keys to one Detective Kate Beckett and not another soul.

Beckett and Castle arrive at the scene 22 minuets after they took Javi to the hospital. A large sergeant walks over to her and asks if she is Detective Beckett.

She says yes and asks what happened here. He goes into what he thinks has happened and then after he is done he grabs her hand and places the keys to the unmarked into her hand.

She thinks about how to get two cars to the hospital, and can't believe she is actually going to say this but she does anyway.

"Castle I need you."

He walks over to her after surveying the crime scene and asks her whats up.

She regrettably tells him that he needs to drive the cruiser over to the hospital so the boys can have a ride back the the 12th. He gets giddy because he knows what he could possibly do with a cop car.

She tells him "There will be no use of the lights or sirens do you read me Castle?"

He answers "Yes mother."


	6. Chapter 6

Castle is very cautious as he transports the unmarked back to the hospital and arriving there he finds a secure spot, parks the car then exits the car and locks it up. Walking over to Beckett's car, he opens the passenger door and tells her "See I can be trusted"

She says "Castle it's not a matter of you not being trusted, but when you feel the need to touch every button and knob on anything it just gets you into trouble. He looks away knowing that she is right. He returns the cars keys to her and they both head into the hospital to see how Espo is doing.

They first see Kevin and ask what is going on with Javi. He explains it direct and to the point. He was shot in the right shoulder, the lower abdomen, and the left forearm. At this time, they are not sure about any of his wounds being life threatening. Kevin asks Kate to walk with him and they start to talk...

" Kate did you know about Javi and Tori?"

"Yes Kevin I did."

"Ok well then I am going need to leave to go and see her." "It seems that they were supposed to meet for dinner at her place tonight to celebrate the fact that they were able to date each other within the department."

"Kevin are you cleared to leave the hospital?" "Were you checked out?"

"Kate I was cleared by the doctor about an hour ago, luckily I was only grazed in the leg"

Kate totally understood and told him to go.

Kate makes her way back to Rick to see if he has any more information about Javi.

Kevin walks out the front doors. Getting into his car he is trying to gather his thoughts to find the best way to break the news to Tori.

Pulling up to her house, the place was dark and he thought to himself that she had already found out about the shooting. That was only until the living room light had lit up and the curtain was drawn to allow Tori to see the unmarked out in the street. Then he thinks the worst

_She thinks that I am Javi I need to get to the door before she does._

Kevin is running to the front steps as the inside foyer door opens, and asks Tori to take a second and wait before she opens the outside door. She wonders why Kevin is here instead of Javier and her thoughts trail off...

"Kevin why exactly are you here?"

"Tori I need to tell you something,...something that you are not going to want to hear."

"Kevin don't tell Javi changed his mind and is not coming over for dinner and got you to tell me he will be held up on a case."

"No it's nothing like that it is actually a lot worse than that."

She looks at him with look of terror cascading over her face "Kevin whats going on?"

"Me and Javi were staking out a suspect in our case and when he actually found him we waited to be sure it was him and it was." "We both left our car and tried to confront him that's when all hell broke loose." "He was carrying a concealed MAC-10 and fired at both me and Javi."

"Kevin you were hit too?"

"Yes but it's actually nothing" Javi, however was not so fortunate." "Most all the rounds had hit his vest, but three had hit non-vital areas as far as I know." "He was still being assessed when I left."

"Take me there right now."

"I thought you would say that so let's go."

Within five minutes, they are pulling up in front of the hospital thanks to the strobe lights and siren. Tori jumped out of the car even before Kevin has the chance to stop and throw it into park. Running into the lobby of the hospital, she sees Kate and Rick standing there and then all her emotions rise to the surface and she can't control them. She reaches Rick falls into his arms crying uncontrollably. Kate walks over to her and places a reassuring hand on her back trying to convey comfort. Rick looks to Kate and when she smiles he pulls Tori into a reassuring hug.

Rick says "There, there Tori things will work out please try not to worry alright?" "Leave the worrying to us and we will all get through this okay."

She looks up to Rick and Kate and they both show it in their eyes the look of faith. She takes this as a good sign they would never tell her false truths. After about two minutes in Ricks arms, she makes the movement to separate and then asks Kate if there is any news.

"Tori I am not going to sugar coat it but Javier was shot three times and though two were only flesh wounds the shot that hit him in the abdomen is probably the one that the doctors are most concerned with."

"Will he be okay?"

"There was an update about an hour ago they had assessed him and got him prepped for surgery."

"So now it's just all about the waiting right?"

Kate nods and Tori walks over to the waiting area to start a vigil for her man. She will not give up on him or what he needs to get better.

Kate had sensed that Kevin was a little reserved about the whole thing. So she walks over to him and sees that he has just put away his cell phone.

"Was that Jenny?"

"Yes we have not talked since the shooting."

Kevin seems to be distant. "Kev what's wrong?"

"Kate this whole thing was my fault, Javi saved my ass when he flanked the suspect from the left he actually drew some of the fire that was meant for me." This will be hard to deal with."

"Kevin put yourself in Espos shoes would you do the same thing for him?"

"Yeah, I guess I would, but Kate he is the one in surgery right now!."

Trying not to raise his voice he turns away from her. "Listen Kate I am going to head back the 12th to start the 5's on what happened this afternoon."

"Kevin listen to what I am going to tell you, go home and be with your wife and daughter." "Believe it or not the need to fill out the paperwork will still be there tomorrow morning" She turns to catch up with Rick and Kevin looks at her walking away and then up to Castle, raising his hand to his cheek he wipes away a lone tear that has started rolling down his cheek for his injured partner he leaves the hospital and heads for home.

The three of them have been waiting for some word of Javi's condition but as of yet the doctor has not made an appearance. It's almost 10pm and their patience is starting to spread a little thin. Out of nowhere there is a figure quickly walking towards them and Kate immediately knows who it is. Standing, she addresses Captain Gates and she is all business.

"Detective Beckett what is the status of Detective Esposito"

"Sir he is still in surgery."

"So there is actually no word on his status then?"

"Actually sir about 4 hours ago there was an assessment done and there was only one round that might be considered life threatening."

"Okay detective keep me informed about his status." "I am needed at the 121st precinct to sort out things there" "Please contact me with any type of status changes OK?"

"Will do sir."

And just as Captain Gates had left the doctor had emerged from behind the double doors that lead from the operating room.

"Detective Beckett? The doctor called out.

"Yes doctor."

"I am Dr. Welesy and I am here to give you the status on Detective Esposito."

"Okay Dr. Welesy, please continue." When the Doctor said this Tori walked over to where Kate was and looped her arm around Kates and she held onto her hand tightly.

"Well, Detective it seems that Detective Esposito is a very lucky man."

"How so Doctor?"

Well, after tending to his most serious wound, it was discovered that on top of the bullet wound that nicked his large intestine and part of his kidney, but that was not the major issue." "The major issue was that after we started operating on him we found that he had a cyst on his liver." "We had completed our first round of surgery and were getting ready to close him up but before we did it was mandatory to perform a CT scan." "That's when we discovered the cyst in his liver and it took additional time to remove it."

Tori asks, "Dr. Wesley when we be able to see him.?"

"Miss Ellis is it.?"

"Yes doctor."

"We have made arrangements for you to go to back to the recovery room and see him right now."

Tori is almost at a run down the hall, but she is unsure about where to go so she waits for the doctor to show her where to go.

Walking behind him she can't wait to see her man. Before drawing the curtain Dr. Wesley warns her that he has just been in surgery and he is bandaged and has various tubes and monitoring wires attached to his body. She shakes her head in agreement and he draws the curtain back...


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Tori walks to the other side on the curtain and almost immediately begins to weep. She thinks quietly to herself that he looks so broken lying there in front of her. Why had this happened to him? Dr. Wesley was right when he said that he would be a sight. Taking a seat next to his bed she turns her head to give the Doctor a nod that its okay for him to leave.

"The most I can give you two alone is 10 minutes OK?" As the doctor turns and leaves.

She agrees and turns back to Javi. Reaching out her hand to gently caress his face she feels the heat he is emitting. Brushing her fingers through his short fuzz he calls hair then she lets her hand drift down along his neck and then to his chest. It feels good to feel his chest rise and fall. He is amazing and she will stay with him until he is well enough to leave the hospital.

Then she wonders how long he will be here. Making a mental note to find the doctor assigned to him and ask him how long he will actually be here her thoughts wander to their night together. Feeling a strong hand on her shoulder she is startled at first and then realized looking down at her watch that it has almost been an hour since she had sat down. Dr. Welsey told her that it was time to go. She slowly gets up and leaves looking at him one last time.

Kate, Ryan and Castle are waiting to see Tori in the lobby. Walking slowly towards them they ask her how he is doing.

"He looks like hell but he is stable."

"Tori we will get through this together okay."

"I was selfish earlier today when I asked Javi to meet me for dinner"

"How so" Kate asks

"Well, I was pushing him way too hard to meet me and when he got the lead on his case he tried to rush through it to get done so he could meet me for dinner."

Ryan and Kate look at each other and both agree, "Tori this is not what happened Javi did everything by the book Kevin can confirm this." "You are not to blame for what happened to him the shooter who is now dead is the person to blame for this."

"Then why do I feel so guilty?"

"Tori it's not a feeling of guilt what you are feeling is a feeling of how deeply you love him."

"Kate I feel like a I am a child when we are together all my thoughts and feelings are always about what he does for me." "I always feel so safe when he holds me in his arms."

Kate walks over to Tori and takes her by the shoulders and tells her "Tori do you have anyone to stay with tonight?"

"No Kate I am all alone tonight."

"Well, you're not anymore, you're coming home to the loft with me and Rick."

"Kate I couldn't I don't...

"Tori there's nothing to worry about we have a spare room and there is no way you are going to be alone tonight." "So it's settled."

Castle who was watching the two women interact chimes in with "Tori when you are ready we will take you over to your place to pack an overnight bag and then we will then grab a bite to eat before we head back to the loft."

Kate is looking at her intently and then she agrees.

Before long they have her overnight bag, had a great meal and now they are trying to decide what movie to play when Tori says "Kate while I appreciate movie night do you think we could talk for a little bit?"

"Rick would you mind if me and Tori skipped movie night?" Rick shows a disappointed look on his face because he really wanted to watch the Matrix series.

"Kate do you need my help?"  
Kate looks to Tori and she shakes her head no.

"Sorry Castle this is a female conversation only."

Occupying himself in front of the TV he starts to play the first installment of The Martix.

Kate and Tori walk into Rick's office and sit across from each other. Tori starts first.

"Kate first I'd like to thank you and Rick for having me here at your place." Unsure of how to say what comes next "I am afraid for Javi"

"Tori what do you mean?"

"Kate I see the way you and Rick are with each other, when anyone who looks at the both of you they can see how much the two of you care and love each other."

" I want what you and Rick have with Javi." "I can't loose him he is everything to me."

Kate realizes that Tori is an all in type of person when it comes to being in love with someone. Considering how to continue Tori interrupts her thoughts again...

"Kate I am not too sure if I should tell you this, but I think you will understand my situation better if I do." The other night when I invited Javier over for a dinner we ended up making love. The night was extraordinary for two reasons I was in love with the man of my dreams and iwasavirgin.

Kate missed what she said because she said it so fast. But she thought she was able to decipher it.

"Tori were you a virgin the night you and Javi made love?"

She sheepishly shakes her head to the affirmative. "He was my first."

"I just thought telling you would help you know how I'm feeling right about now."

"Tori I totally understand now, how about if we get some rest so we will be at our best when we go see Javi in the morning okay?"

"I'd like to, and again thanks for letting me stay with you guys tonight."

"No Problem Tori" "But you are going to have to excuse me while I go wake up Mr. Movie I can guarantee he is out like a light."

As predicted Kate was right. Castle was fast asleep with the remote in his hand. The movie was fast forwarding over and over. Kate reached for the remote and Castle instinctively tried to pull it back. Kate whispered to Castle to let go of the remote so they could both go to bed. He released it and then Kate turned off both the TV and the DVR. Heading to the master bedroom they both got ready for bed. Kate had set the alarm for 6:30 am. This would give everyone time to get ready before heading over to the hospital.

The alarm clock was buzzing relentlessly and Kate tried to quiet it quickly. Quieting the bothersome noise her arm swept his side of the bed. Feeling nothing she raises her head and sees the right side of the bed empty. Looking over to the master bath, she sees that the light is off. Curious she throws on her robe over her scantily clad body and walks to the door. Stopping mid-step then she notices it. That amazing aroma of Castle cooking breakfast. Being only 6:30 am he has almost everything setup. She rounds the corner of his office and sees Alexis setting the table for everyone. He is just finishing up cooking the home fries and places them in the warmer. He will cook the eggs to every ones personal preference.

Kate walks over to him and asks what time he got up this morning, he replies with "I could not sleep so I got up and started breakfast somewhere around 5:30 this morning."

Kate told him "You know Rick if you couldn't sleep then I think I could have found better things to do than make breakfast." She threw him a very seductive smile. Just as he was about to say something Tori had walked down the stairs and she was starving. Seeing Kate and Rick she walked over to them "Wow this food looks amazing."

"Tori everything is set out on the table all you need to do is tell my dad the chef how you want your eggs, Alexis said. Martha was the last to rise. She requested a ham and cheese and onion omelet. Castle finished that and then made his own eggs, scrambled of course. He took a seat beside Kate who had just finished her eggs over easy and was sipping her coffee and dug in. Every one had decided that they would get ready after breakfast and head over to the hospital to see Esposito.

By the time 8 am rolled around breakfast was finished, the mess was cleaned up and Rick was turning the lights off in the loft and making sure the front door was locked. Rick had hired a stretch limo for transportation to and from the hospital. They were off.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

The ride to the hospital was a quick one. Everyone was anxious to see Javi. As the car pulled up the hospital entrance Tori started to get a little more nervous as they got ready to get out. All she could think about was how Javi ended up here and she still was blaming herself. Every one got out of the limo and while they were walking into the hospital then Kate spoke.

"I think that since we have a lot of people visiting Javi we should set up a visiting schedule. It would be better than everyone crowding into his room." Kate said.

Everyone agreed and they decided who will go to see him first. They decided that Kevin, and Tori will be the first to see him.

Arriving at his room Kevin and Tori enter and see him lying in the bed. He is still unconscious but they hope with their visit he might come around. Taking seats on either side of him they both look at him with wonder. Just as Kevin was going to say something the doctor enters into the room.

"Oh I am so sorry I thought that Mr. Esposito was alone in the room. I can come back later if you wish." The doctor said looking up from his chart.

Kevin and Tori look at each other.

"There is no need to come back later. Please do what you need to do doctor." Kevin said inviting the doctor into the room.

The doctor seeing that no one would object started to take his vitals. He walks over to Javi and takes his pulse, checks his oxygen levels and his urine discharge. Folding down his bed sheets and raising up his hospital gown, he checks the healing of his bullet wounds. The wounds are still stitched up and he observes that they are healing nicely. Drawing down the gown and replacing his sheet he notes his results on the chart.

Before the doctor could leave Tori wanted to ask him a couple of questions.

"Doctor may I ask you something?" she asked.

The Doctor turned to her.

"Sure what's on your mind?" he asked in a friendly manner.

"I just wanted to know if there was any chance Javi might regain consciousness any time soon?" Tori replied.

The doctor turns and faces Tori.

"Miss Ellis is it?" He asked consulting the chart to see if he could give her any information.

She was listed as was Kate Beckett, Richard Castle and Kevin Ryan.

"Yes," Tori said.

"Well Ms. Ellis, at this time I am inclined to keep Mr. Esposito under heavy medication for about three more days time to let his wounds heal. The more he stays still the better his wounds have time to heal. It also reduces the chance for an infection. Is there anything else?" He asked looking between the two of them.

"Yes doctor, will there be any permanent damage? What I mean to ask is will he still be able to do his job as a cop?" Kevin inquires.

"Ms. Ellis Mr. Ryan, I am hopeful that Mr. Esposito will make a full recovery. Please be forewarned, we will not know the exact extent of his injuries or recovery time frame until he is conscious." The doctor said then looked at them to see if there were any more questions.

Seeing that he had answered all their questions he left the room. Tori and Kevin looked at each other knowing that it was pointless to be here any longer. There were others who needed to see him. Rising up off the chairs they turned slowly made their goodbyes then left the room.

Walking back to where Kate, Rick and Alexis were they were in better spirits.

"So guys, how was he?" Rick asked being the first to voice the question everyone was thinking.

"He is still unconscious but he is doing so much better." Tori replied.

Kevin nodded his head in agreement.

"Can we go up to see him now?" Kate asked first.

"Sure it is room 110 just across from the nurse's station. When he awakes he will like that view." Tori said.

"I'm sure he would" Kate said. "Come on Castle let's get up there. Thanks Tori"

Kate, Rick and Alexis went up to his room. Kate was taken back at the sight of her Big Brother clinging to life in the hospital bed. She clung to Rick as he guided her in. Alexis followed behind the pair. They sat and conversed at him until it was time to leave. Alexis was the first to give Uncle Javi a hug and a kiss on the forehead. Next was Rick who did not know what to do with his hands but then did a feed the birds with this hand into Javi's. Kate was last. She stood silently contemplating her work partner. She leaned over and gave him a kiss on the forehead then left with the others. They assembled at the Nurse's station across from his room.

Rick wrapped his arms around both Kate and Alexis and drew them close. Both Alexis and Kate relished the warmth Rick provided. The group hug was interrupted by a noise emanating from Kate's stomach which got a replied from first Rick's then Alexis'. Horrified Kate blushed. Alexis followed suit. Only Rick owned up to what his body was telling him.

"Remy's…?" He asked the two women.

They all quickly agreed and the darted out of the hospital to reach their favorite eating establishment quickly for lunch.

**A/N This is a short chapter, I am trying to update all of my stories.**

**Thanks again Phnxgrl! :)**


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